I Think

As mental illness is hard to deal with

There are a host of things it can do to your personality

I feel like if I was free of it I’d be so much more different

Instead I feel like my symptoms cause me

To be a emotionally detached person

I feel like no one loves me

Like people are looking at me funny

And I’m a weirdo

And sometimes I have no hope

For the future

I use meds to tone these ideas down

But there are many things that a pill can’t do

I realize as a religious person

I have to have love in my heart for everyone

And that even if I don’t feel loved

That God will always love me

But it’s one of the things I just can’t get over

I feel so alone sometimes

With only the people in my head seeming like friends

To keep me company

And will never leave me

It’s unhealthy I know

But I just can’t help it

If I were reading about the symptoms in a book

I’d fit every little detail perfectly

But I can’t let any illness define me

As there are so many things about me

That separate me from any other sufferer

I’m funny even when I’m nervous

I like to make people laugh

I’m creative and love working with my hands

I tend to be a computer whiz

And good with fixing things

I don’t read instructions

And can somehow figure out how to use stuff

Straight out of the box

I guess I can’t say I’m a textbook case

Well when it comes to personality

Only those who know me well can understand me

And there aren’t too many people that do

Since I don’t have the “friendly” gene

I just keep to myself

And people assume I’m nice and quiet

I guess that’s true

But sometimes when I talk to people I sound rude

And seem to lack that censorship that people have

Which keeps them from saying what comes to mind first

That’s me I don’t think before I speak

I just blurt things out and end of making people hate me

Patrika Williamson

 

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