As mental illness is hard to deal with
There are a host of things it can do to your personality
I feel like if I was free of it I’d be so much more different
Instead I feel like my symptoms cause me
To be a emotionally detached person
I feel like no one loves me
Like people are looking at me funny
And I’m a weirdo
And sometimes I have no hope
For the future
I use meds to tone these ideas down
But there are many things that a pill can’t do
I realize as a religious person
I have to have love in my heart for everyone
And that even if I don’t feel loved
That God will always love me
But it’s one of the things I just can’t get over
I feel so alone sometimes
With only the people in my head seeming like friends
To keep me company
And will never leave me
It’s unhealthy I know
But I just can’t help it
If I were reading about the symptoms in a book
I’d fit every little detail perfectly
But I can’t let any illness define me
As there are so many things about me
That separate me from any other sufferer
I’m funny even when I’m nervous
I like to make people laugh
I’m creative and love working with my hands
I tend to be a computer whiz
And good with fixing things
I don’t read instructions
And can somehow figure out how to use stuff
Straight out of the box
I guess I can’t say I’m a textbook case
Well when it comes to personality
Only those who know me well can understand me
And there aren’t too many people that do
Since I don’t have the “friendly” gene
I just keep to myself
And people assume I’m nice and quiet
I guess that’s true
But sometimes when I talk to people I sound rude
And seem to lack that censorship that people have
Which keeps them from saying what comes to mind first
That’s me I don’t think before I speak
I just blurt things out and end of making people hate me
Patrika Williamson
