Paranoia and Schizophrenia

It’s interesting to compare schizophrenia

To a full on haunting

By a random spirit who refuses to leave

But the difference between the two is

Ghosts haunt a place

Whereas the voices I hear never leave me

It’s not something that can be experienced

By more than one person in the room

But the feelings of being touched

Or seeing images of a person

Can be similar to me

Like being in the middle of a haunting

I’ve felt cold sometimes when the windows were closed

Or like someone was fanning me

I’ve also felt soft brushes against me

Sometimes I fear that the entire experience I had years ago

Will happen once again

And I’ll feel like I’m losing my mind and grip

There were so many things I saw, heard and felt

That I thought it was all real

They had an explanation for everything

So I had no choice but to believe it

The average person might say

There’s no way I’d fall for a hallucination

Or a reoccurring sound heard

Round and round

But it became my reality for months and caused me

To just shut down and appear in a daze

I think it was a psychosis they said

And they put me on many meds

But nothing worked until the people that I hear

Chose to stop the charade and allow me to live my life

Without causing a crazy world that I thought was real

I think that because of all the things I took

I can no longer function without them

Even though they do nothing for my hallucinations

I have built up a chemical dependency

If I miss taking them for too long

I have trouble even staying calm

I do have faith that I’ll be much stronger this time

When I get any hint of their tricks

I quickly shut them down by just telling them to shut up

And ignoring any odd sounds which aren’t human

Patrika Williamson

 

 

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